game sucks. No, really, this is one horrible game. A bad arcade game
has become an even worse home game. Honestly, there's no need to
even read this review. Just skip down to the score and go about your
merry way. Nothing I say here is going to make you want to buy this
game, so you'll only find out why it sucks so badly if you continue
with me? Well, it's your funeral I guess. Basically, in Smashing
Drive you're a cabbie. Your job is to deliver your passenger
from point A to point B before the time limit runs out. To do this,
you must find and utilize a number of different shortcuts strewn
throughout each course. Sound familiar? As much as it sounds like
it, this is really different from Crazy Taxi. Whereas Crazy
Taxi gives you several big cities to explore, Smashing Drive
gives you relatively straight paths with a set goal to reach in the
allotted time. In Smashing Drive you're a cabbie only because
you drive a cab, not because you go around picking up different
passengers. You start out the race with your passenger inside the
car, and when you reach your destination the game moves on to the
next course without any passenger exiting the car. Finally the
entire control scheme consists of the gas, brakes, steering and the
horn…yes that's all…and the pace is so slow that you won't even
need to use the brakes.
we've already got a stripped down version of Crazy Taxi, but Smashing
Drive also lacks two other important ingredients: a good sense
of speed and an excellent physics model. Your cab plods along at
such a slow rate that the action relies solely on smashing into
things, which is very bad because you're supposed to avoid doing
that in order to win and the graphics are boring at best. The
control scheme is very unrealistic, with no compensation for
momentum or the weight of the car and very floaty jumps. That by
itself is OK in an arcade racer, but with such a lack of driving
skill needed it the game has to rely on the other things I've
already said suck to be fun. So basically Smashing Drive is Crazy
Taxi without the sense of freedom, strategy in picking up
different passengers, excellent physics model, and sense of speed. A
shallow game is cloned by a much shallower game that doesn't even do
the basics right…sounds like fun.
graphics in the arcade game were merely pathetic, but here they're a
downright insult to the Xbox's power. Despite each area being
relatively small, the texture work is still extremely blurry. The
car models and environments are simplistic, with the only high point
(relatively speaking) being the simple transformations they undergo
when picking up a power-up. The camera is pathetic as well, rarely
giving the player a good view of the action for any length of time.
bad as the graphics are, they absolutely rock in comparison to the
hideous soundtrack. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad 80's style pop music
with some of the worst singers in recorded history blurting out the
most inane lines imaginable. One track repeats for each shift,
meaning you're subjected to this torture at least three times on
each run through a shift. I would offer up a MP3 download so you
could experience the horror first hand, but I don't want bleeding
ears on my conscience. The sound effects ain't much better.
fun for about 15 minutes...until you find most of the shortcuts
and breeze through it.
don't have to buy it.
worst soundtrack ever.
of the worst graphics ever to appear on the Xbox.
rip-off of Crazy Taxi without anything that made that
mediocre arcade game becomes one of the worst Xbox games yet. Spend
your money elsewhere.